Category: Personal Thoughts

Hyperventilating, shaking, uncontrollable cries

Sensation of dying, the need to escape

Darkness cloudy my mind, vision, soul, and world

Deterioration of thoughts, emotions, and ruptures

Empty words, empty promises, & liars

Hypocrites, fabricator, & mocker

A beautiful darkness, a hell created by itself

Drowning or dying from thirst?

Burning or dying from starvation?

Shredded hopes and future

Maturity and strength taught by the failures and betrayal’s

Inability to stand in its own existence, feelings, & perspective

Unraveling of self-destructive thoughts, empty dark thoughts

Mangled people are treacherous

Even hell feel like a home

And bitter gourd will start to taste like a sweet, delicious candy.

For them, rather than loving, it’s more difficult to believe.

Masks its emotions like wearing a black veil

Hidden pain with a beautiful smile and strength of an emperor penguins

Silence is beautiful, yet rigorous

A journey like an endless tunnel with no sign of light

Dark path like a blinded person vision

Every breath, every word, every thought, every goal feels like a never-ending battle

Not a choice, but a duty

Not a choice, but a commitment

Not a choice, but an obligation

Not a choice, but a fidelity

~Chatty

Doubting yourself will only torture you mentally and emotionally and will start to appear in your physical appearance when it’s enough. Everyone has a limit that should never be crossed because it will only worsen and might end up at a certain point in life where you do not know yourself anymore or anyone else. Your soul will feel like it’s floating outside of your body. You are there, but not really. Uncertainty is the poison that will destroy your future and present decisions—rifts and misunderstandings in relationships. Always keep a smile and take a check out, meaning let yourselves heal rather than let it consume you and your entire existence.

Show some love to yourself and others. Your smile and the little things you say might help make a huge difference in someone’s life. It does not cost any money, just some effort, little caring, the most important one being a human being.

Important to embrace the present and not to overthink about the future. Do not let doubts get between you and someone you care about. Your questions will be answered; enjoy the mysterious journey and let yourself relax and breathe.

To let yourself breathe, first learn to love yourself. You can not make your whole existence be about someone else until you have created your own. Do not mix it, or else it will only destroy you. You are your own person. You have your own life, and it does not belong to anyone but only to you. Heal your emotions and forgive. However, do not forget it takes time, so do not put pressure on yourselves if it’s taking forever to let go of the past, forgiving others, and healing yourselves. Start by loving yourselves by giving praises to yourself when you accomplished something or a treat for achieving that you have been trying for so long. It all takes time, and there is nothing wrong with that. 🙃

I was very stressed out about somethings lately. It wasn’t eustress, more like distress. I always let things that matter a lot to me control my emotions. I never thought that speaking about it helps, but my way of looking at it has changed. I learned that speaking to someone is really helpful only if you speak to someone who understands, who cares about you, knows what’s going on, and you have this emotional connection with that person. My sister was that person who gave me a mental and emotional relief. My mind felt more relaxed than it did a few days ago. One thing that caused more problem was that I always speak what’s on my mind and this gets me in a lot of trouble. It’s been like that almost half of my life so I tried changing it. Till today, I have never been able to change it because it’s part of who I am. And I can not change it. However, I can improve it. My honesty makes people hate me. I am that someone who is easy to be hated, harder to love.

I wanted to help someone, but I didn’t know the healthier way of doing it. So I did the way I could do. I never realized that you can not help someone who does not want to be helped. You can not change someone’s perspective if they are ignorant or have a fixed mindset. The only thing I did was hurt myself more and let it’s negativity impact my mental health. It’s good to give a try, but not to the point that it starts to affect you negatively.

I am happy. Happier than before. Writing helped me. I appreciate CT101. I am very thankful for taking this class.