I See And I Hear

Sometimes I see things, and I hear them, my brain and heart chemistry is disturbed, it breaks apart, and I wish I could do something about it, but I know that the only thing I can do is be patient and make dua (pray) that for it to get better and for God to guide them to the right path. The misogyny, patriarchy, negativity, and lack of women empowerment in certain societies and cultures, encouraged by women themselves, surprises me every time I see it and hear it. I wish I did not live in this world, there are people in this world who believe this is their heaven and that this world is beautiful, but I believe that the world was beautiful, but it has become ugly and cruel. Humans are complex creatures with a very cunning and shrewd brain. Destroying things that we do not understand, not similar to us, different, unique, at different pace levels, exploiting the innocent and naive, manipulating, blackmailing, abusing their superiority, abusing animals, abusing the nature, murdering, raping… Yet, some people want to live in this world and believe this is their paradise. It only takes one fear to destroy multiples lives. To me, this is hell made by humans. An Illusion. Some humans beings lack understanding, empathy, sympathy, humanity, respect, and love. Hearing my own mother calling me an animal, someone with no brain, an idiot, a donkey, and other things because I said what our religion teaches and that she follows people rather than her lord. That she fears what people are going to say and the importance of reputation; while being ignorant to the teaching of Islam and claiming to be a Muslim when she does not follow what she claims to be. If our God can forgive us for every mistake or sin we commit, then why is it so hard for us to forgive other people? We are so far blinded by our cultural beliefs that we do not see our own mistakes, the things we say to others, our behaviors, actions, etc. Why do we claim to love someone, but if they were to make one mistake, we throw them out from our lives as if they do not matter at all? If we can do that, then do we really care about them, or is it just for show off? Why have we become so strong in our beliefs and biases that we do not see the crying sounds of children? The anger and hate running through our veins, heart, and mind glaring through our eyes. The thirst for more power, authority, and superiority. The smell of burning bodies, the realm of abused victims, hungry eyes, the homeless, starved and exploited minority groups, echos of crying in empty alleys, cry for help, for mercy, for humanity, the voice in our head clawing for to be understood, listened and not judged. How ignorant and inhumane have we become? We are so blinded by rage, self-interest, and beliefs that we have forgotten how to be just a human being. There is an abundance of toxicity in Desi culture. We disregard people’s feelings, belittle, indirect insults, taunting, not acknowledging marital rape, gender inequalities referring to females’ cerebral abilities rather than their physical strength. Is it too much to ask? To be treated like a human being, not like a female, and not belittled. For our virginity or purity to be not the only things deciding our character, self-respect, self-dignity, to be treated with respect, and not called whore or a slut. To be given the same opportunity as any other gender. Men are not the only ones preventing or inhibiting women from being perceived as equal in the sense of cerebral abilities, but women themselves are the biggest bullies of their own self and others. This is very common in desi cultures, from a personal point of view. Although it might not be for everyone, it is for some whether you disagree or agree. I am that some. “Using reputation, and what other people might say” as an excuse, has led to a lot of haram things to take place. Like forced marriage, abusive marriage, abusive household, marital rape, feeling obligated to please the man sexually, feeling dirty, that pleasure is only for men and not women, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, and verbal abuse. People who defend these avoid confrontations and support this; they are just like the abuser. If someone makes you uncomfortable, then return the favor; we are making it too comfortable for others. Make them uncomfortable and encourage confrontation regarding these matters.

2 Replies to “I See And I Hear”

  1. Wow that is beautiful mashaallah i hop you keep writing more and more and empower yourself. At times it takes just one person to make a difference. I love ur writing; It makes one think and contemplate.

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